Comment by vanessa

March 30, 2009 @ 2:14 pm

Arthur’s Birth Story…

On the day after I was due to have my second baby I dropped off my 2 3/4year old son Jacob at his carer’s house and went to a café for a cup of tea. It gave me a moment to sit and take stock of the strange feelings that comes with waiting to give birth. I was excited but anxious; what if I never went into labour; never gave birth?! It seems such a bizarre thought but it felt so real at the time. I remembered feeling this before Jacob’s birth, ten days overdue. I also recognised the familiar feeling of incompletion and suspension that still lingered after Jacob’s great labour which ended in a C-section. It had been a wonderful experience to labour at home but it was disappointing not being able to stay there. Not having a vaginal birth had become heavy weight that wished I didn’t have to carry. This time I so desperately wanted to have a natural birth at home.

As I walked home I reminded myself of all the work I’d done for this birth, I knew that despite anxieties I felt confident and well supported. A little mantra began to ring in my head “trust, surrender, trust, surrender…” By the time I got home my mood was lifted and then I went to the bathroom and discovered a show! I was so excited: things were really starting to happen, it was going to happen!

The next morning our midwife Mandy arrived for a routine visit. I was disappointed; nothing had really come of some promising cramps the day before. Another day rolled out, much like the day before with more irregular cramps. When my husband Owen got home from work I got him to drop me at the beach so that I could have some time by myself. It was a windy wild afternoon and it was great place to be, soaking up the energy of the ocean. While walking I felt some stronger and more affirming cramps.

After returning home the dinner/bedtime hour rolled along and then I headed out to the veggie garden to finish off planting some seeds. I was interrupted by a phone call from my friend in Glasgow, Fiona. What wonderful timing! She had been the support person at Jacobs’s birth and I would have liked her to be there for this one, so she was the perfect person to talk to. She said some beautiful reassuring things about my last birth and my ability to birth. It was dark when I finished talking to her, but I had a huge urge to finish my planting, so headed out to the garden with a torch. I remembered this kind of energy prior to my last birth and I felt quite certain that my labour would become established soon.

Owen and I went to bed and cuddled. It felt really good. He went to sleep. I tried to sleep or just relax in between what were now becoming strong contractions. After a while I plugged in some headphones and listened to a birthing meditation. It was my intention to try and use breathing and meditation to stay relaxed for the birth. While listening I had three strong contractions and since the meditation was about twenty minutes long I realised they were less that ten minutes apart. It was 1:30am, I texted Mandy to tell her. She asked if she needed to come but I felt that we were fine. I wanted to stay in bed as long as possible.

At about 2:30 I woke Owen. He got up, lit the fire and set up the birth pool. Our house became like a little cave, dimly lit with candles. We put on some meditation music. I sat on an exercise ball, on a baluster, on the floor, leaned against the wall and then the door frame; trying out different positions while my body contracted. I was so focused on breathing and it got me through each contraction. But there was a point where I felt easily distracted and loosing focus. Then Owen stepped in and did such a good job of guiding me through my breathing, slowly counting out each breath, in and out, as if breathing for me.

I was hot and clothes felt awful, I needed to vomit a few times. I found myself naked standing over the toilet. Here we found a rhythm with Owen gently, slowly rubbing my back and breathing with me. At one stage I felt inside and could feel my cervix was open, I didn’t really know how much (it felt strange!), but it felt like progress. My contractions were strong and regular and it felt like the right time for Mandy to come.

Owen called her and when she arrived about at 4:30am. Owen and I were in front of the fire, still following our breathing rhythm. She just stood back while we continued, till I said I might like to get into the pool soon. Was it a good time? I had been saving it up till I really needed it.

Mandy checked my blood pressure and then got me to lie on my bed to check how dilated I was – about 7cm. I said that I was scared that I wouldn’t get past the point Id got to with Jacob’s birth (he got ‘stuck’ at the point of being almost dilated). She said to just acknowledge the fear and let it be there. It was amazing how these wise words and me being able to voice how I was feeling, really made me relax. With the next contraction I felt a strong urge to poo, unlike anything I’d felt before it. I lay on the bed for quite a while. Mandy put socks on my feet and covered me up with a blanket. With each contraction she pushed on the pressure points on my lower back which really helped. I grunted and could feel the baby moving down and in between I would drop off to sleep.

After about forty minutes or so I got up and into the pool which felt great. There bigger pushing contractions that made me cry out, sob and shake. At this point it seemed my body had totally taken over. Mandy checked me and confirmed that I was fully dilated. Things seemed to be happening much faster and less linear than I expected. My waters had not broken and I could feel the membranes just inside. Mandy suggested trying to break them by me pushing down on her finger with the next contraction. She put her hand inside me waiting for a contraction but it took a long time. It made me self conscious and that seemed to slow things even more. When the contraction came nothing happened. Then things felt a muddy, I felt uncomfortable and didn’t know what to do when a contraction came. I said something about feeling a bit over it all.

Mandy gave me the homeopathic remedy caulophyllum and it was amazing, as the next contraction was so clear and strong. Then I remembered how stoked I thought I’d feel to have reached this point, to be actually pushing my baby out! It made me feel in total command; pushing became a joyous experience. I could feel the membranes crowning, then with the next contraction I felt a pop and knew that my waters had finally broken. I reached down and could feel the head right there, but it didn’t feel as I expected: I thought I felt the cord. After saying so, Mandy checked and said with great relief that it wasn’t the cord, but the folds of skin on the head. She said it would probably take about 30 minutes to an hour now to birth my baby.

The next contraction was big and long, with each breath I pushed down as much as I could, with my new found focus. I could feel myself opening more and more. It stung! Especially the last breath, but just as I made this final push I felt the head slip between my legs. Unbelievable! Once the contraction ended I told Owen and Mandy that the head was out, and then just held it saying “Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!…” We were all so amazed that it happened so quickly. The next contraction took a while and when it finally came the body was born. It was about 7:30am, I scooped up our tiny new baby with Owens help and we discovered that he was red haired boy, just like his brother.

After a while I got out of the pool and we sat down on the couch and cuddled our beautiful new wee boy. Mandy checked me out, I didn’t even tear! After cutting the cord Owen held our baby while I stood up and delivered the placenta with a good cough. Then we all sat back while our little boy soon to be named Arthur had an enthusiastic feed. We ate our breakfast and began calling family and friends with our news – a big surprise as no one had known that we were even in labour. I had wanted this birth to be personal and intimate without bells and whistles and it had rolled out exactly as I had envisioned. I was so elated to have had a vaginal birth at home and humbled by the relative ease in which it happened. It provided a new perspective on Jacob’s birth which had required so much more effort and endurance. It left me feeling equally proud of both births and with a deep respect for the spectrum of experience and life lessons that can come through giving birth.